food + drink the complaint department

work husband

I’ve been thinking about this trending (but slightly odious to me) designation for a friend at work who is your closest companion, but not in an intimate way: your work spouse.

And then I was thinking more largely about how we re-create family dynamics in the office, with parental types, bratty siblings and squabbling around the conference room tables.

And then I saw this on the work fridge this morning and it made me laugh. Someone left an open container of some noodle-based food complete with a spoon


stuck in it. My real (not work) husband does this with pots of spaghetti, which he shoves into the fridge without first decanting into a Tupperware, without first covering the pot, without first removing the serving utensil, which gets sauce congealed on it, unpleasantly.

When I said something about this to him, he reacted unpleasantly, rather like this mean-faced lady saying Wat.

When I should be saying, “wat,” right? But he’s saying “wat?” And the spaghetti is congealing in my fridges at home and at work, which is just unpleasantness all around, isn’t it?