Category Archives: what women of a certain age look like

This is what 87 looks like

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Baddie Winkle loves raver clothes, has 1.1 million Instagram followers and says “I don’t feel old. I have never felt old. I think you can dress any way you want to.”

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This is What 90 Looks Like



As published in the Cleveland Plain Dealer by Regina Brett

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it…

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come…

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

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This is What 50 Looks Like

SJP looks

SJP turns 50

SJP turns 50

like a happy mom, which is a beautiful thing.


This is What 81 Looks Like


Last year, I complained that the NYT published a long article on Gloria Steinman’s 80th birthday, with the headline “This is What 80 Looks Like.” Except the image of her was an illustration, so how can we tell what she looks like?

This is what 80 looks like

This is what 80 looks like

They must have heard me — yes, that’s it! — because this year they did a before/after photo. Rock on Gloria.


This is what 77 looks like

My, my.

Jane Fonda at the Grammys, elicited this comment from Dlisted and although I don’t know what Lisa Frank Peniteniary means, it’s funny all the same:

Sources (read: the sources in my head) tell me that Prince was planning to wear this exact jumpsuit to the Grammys last night, but when his crystal ball afro showed him the vision of Jane wearing it, he quickly changed into an inmate uniform from the Lisa Frank Penitentiary. Even Prince knows not to compete with Jane Fonda, bitch.

jolly, green

jolly, green

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This is what 80 looks like

Joan Dideon

Stayed to long at the fair?

“Loss” is the word I think of when I think of Joan Dideon. She is brilliant and chic and a cultural icon as well. But I associate her with the time when Merrie was dying. Merrie and I and others went to see Vanessa Redgrave in “The Year of Magical Thinking.” It was Merrie’s last trip into her beloved New York, on the occasion of her 48th birthday, the last one she would have. The book and play are about a lot of things but for me they are all about loss — of Dideon’s husband (the “year” is the year following his death) and her daughter, who would pass after its publication.

So Dideon is alone now and she looks alone in this photo. One of the lines from the book — although I’ve forgotten its context — is “Have I stayed too long at the fair?” Until I figure that out, here the lyrics from the Billy Barnes song, best-sung by Rosemary Clooney.

So wistful, so much about being passed by and alone. And there’s even a reference to the midway: “The lights of the midway are fading above me, have I stayed to long at the fair?”

wanted the music to play on forever,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I wanted the clown to be constantly clever,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I bought the blue ribbons to tie up my hair,
But I couldn’t find anybody to care,
The merry-go-round is beginning to slow now,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
The music has stopped, and the children must go now,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?

Oh, mother dear, I know you’re very proud,
Your little girl in gingham is so far above the crowd,
No, daddy dear, you never could have known,
That I would be successful, and so very much alone.

Here in New York, I’m many worlds away,
From people who are dear to me,
Here in New York, I’m learning every day,
How very sad a carnival can be.

I wanted to live in a carnival city,
With laughter and love everywhere,
I wanted my friends to be thrilling and witty,
I wanted somebody to care,
I found it was easy to capture success,
But now I’d be willing to settle for less,
The lights of the midway are fading above me,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I’d better run home to the people who love me,
For I’ve stayed too long at the fair.


this is the fucking worst

Is there a word for “celebrations” of women who are aging beautifully that are actually more insulting than celebratory? Do they think they are being provocative — old women can be pretty too! — when they are really pandering and patronizing?

On Michelle Pfieffer at the age of 56:

We love that at 56 we can see her wrinkles, laugh lines and smile lines. Why are any of these signs of facial aging surprising? 

We love that we can see her expressions when she’s laughing and talking, and we love that we can see that she’s had a fun life. What makes you think that? 

Her laugh lines prove that. Oh I see.

We love that she’s aging so well, and so beautifully and all while looking wonderful. Repeat yourself much? 

She’s 56, but doesn’t look 56. Got it. 

However, she doesn’t look as if she’s trying hard to look like she’s still in her 30s or 40s either. Uh huh. 

She seems to embrace her age. Probably because of her fun life. 


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This is what 62 looks like

Saw la bella Isabella on The Blacklist recently playing, against type, a girl-slave trafficker. She looks so gloriously like a real woman with the fine lines on her face, her full hips, her no-fuss hair do. Also, how creepily colorless is James Spader as the bad (I think?) guy?

isabella rossellini

isabella rossellini

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This is what 65 looks like

Hardly a fair yard stick, is it? Comparing the incomparable Miss Streep to the average mere-mortal, 65-year-old. But happy birthday anyway, even if you don’t play fair, with all those cards (beauty, talent, brains) stacked in your favor.

Meryl at 65, thanking her lucky stars.

Meryl at 65, thanking her lucky stars.

This is what 55 looks like

This is what 55 looks like

Me, between gorgeous Lily and movie-star-looking Susie. A good night.

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