There has always been fashion designed to slow women down, trip them up. Heavy bustles and hoop skirts. Binding of the feet in China, cloaking of the entire body among some followers of Islam. Whatever the stated intent — beautification, modesty — the result turns us into decor at best, captives at worst. I’ve been noticing a trend toward restrictive garments that say “don’t” in some way. A partial list:

Mules: don’t run

Kitten heels: don’t even walk

Pointy toe stillettos: don’t mind that these are, practically speaking, bunion-producing machines.

Off the shoulder tops: don’t raise your arms

Bustiers: don’t dance, better yet don’t move

Clutch purse: don’t do anything that requires two hands

Mini skirt: don’t sit

Pencil skirt: don’t eat

Body suit, jump suit: don’t even think about going to the bathroom