new year’s resolutions for others

to the makers of bagged salad greens: skip the dark “oak” leaves, which spoil quickly and leave the rest of the mix smelling murky and bad. to people who live in my house: stop leaving your dirty dishes in the sink. to my dog: stop all of that excessive and noisy grooming at night, it’s keeping me up. to safari and google and facebook: stop updating all the time, people don’t like change. to the wine-glass manufacturers who affix those sticky labels that are impossible to remove: just stop.

Do these qualify as white girl problems?